


If You Only Knew

by LilyAnson



Series: The Long Road Home [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bittersweet, Cooking, Determination, Memories, Minor Injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-21 10:44:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6048571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyAnson/pseuds/LilyAnson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crowley cooks and talks with an old friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Only Knew

**Author's Note:**

> _If you only knew_  
>  _How many times I counted_  
>  _All the words that went wrong_  
>  _If you only knew_  
>  _How I refuse to let you go,_  
>  _Even when you're gone_  
>  _I don't regret any days I_  
>  _Spent, nights we shared,_  
>  _Or letters that I sent_  
>  ~Shinedown, If You Only Knew

Crowley breaded the piece of chicken fried steak and moved to the stove. This was this first time he had ever tried to make chicken fried steak. Cooking was one of the few things in life he had come to love. He tried new recipes whenever possible. Some came out well and some not so much. Crowley picked up the piece of breaded meat and prepared to drop it into the pan of hot oil. 

“Hello.”

Crowley jumped at the angel’s sudden appearance. He dropped the piece of meat into the pan faster than he had intended. Grease splattered everywhere including over his hand.

“Fuck! Bloody hell,” Crowley yelled.

“Crowley,” Castiel asked concerned.

“Damn it,” Crowley muttered moving to the sink.

Castiel stopped him and reached for his hand. Crowley drew his hand back and glared at the angel.

“Crowley,” Castiel huffed. “Let me see it.”

“It’s fine,” Crowley growled.

“It’s my fault. At least let me look at it,” Castiel insisted.

“We both know you won’t just look at it.”

“It’s my fault you got injured. Let me fix what I caused.”

“Fine,” Crowley huffed. He rolled his eyes and held his hand out to the angel.

Castiel took the hand gently and within seconds the pain was gone. Crowley shook his head. He shouldn’t be angry at the angel. Castiel checked in with him at least once a month. He really should have expected this visit. 

“Hold on a second.”

Crowley turned back to check on the food. As he finished cooking it Castiel took a seat at the table and waited quietly. There was a salad in the fridge. Along with the Chicken fried steak he also made brown gravy and a can of corn. One new thing at a time. Lately his focus had been on southern foods. When everything was finished he moved all the food to the table.

Slicing off part of the chicken fried steak he walked over to the corner with two bowls on the floor and placed the piece of meat in one of the bowls. Crowley stood back and counted. One, two, three. As always the cat came running into the kitchen headed straight for the food. She would sometimes leave small bits of her cat food in the bowl but never human food. 

“You adopted a cat,” Castiel asked.

“It’s more like she adopted me,” Crowley informed the angel.

“What’s her name?”

“I call her Moose,” Crowley murmured.

For a while neither said anything. Moose finished eating her piece of chicken fried steak and turned back to Crowley. Cocking her head she eyed him hopefully and meowed once. Crowley smiled and shook his head.

“Nope, that’s all you get. Too much human food is bad for you.”

“She has Sam’s eyes,” Castiel said quietly.

Crowley’s eyes slid shut. “Yes,” he agreed.

“Sorry.”

Crowley opened his eyes. “Nope. No being sorry. Any memories of Sam are always good memories,” he said smiling.

“Crowley?”

“Hm?”

“Why don’t you ever ask about them?”

“You said they were in heaven. That’s all I needed to know.”

“You don’t wonder about them at all?”

“If they’re in heaven then they’re happy. That’s all I care about.”

For a while they were both silent.

“You know Sam asks about you,” Castiel stated casually.

Crowley bit his lower lip. “I’m doing what I can to make the best of the second chance he gave me. Maybe by the time I pass I’ll have made partial restitution for some of the damage I’ve done as a demon.”

“Crowley-”

“No. Don’t Castiel. I’ve made my peace with that part of my life. Allow me enough dignity to move past that and try to make the best of what I’ve been given.”

Castiel nodded once and they both fell back into silence.


End file.
